Seek from within
Lesson One: Shaping Our Own Destiny - Part II
“Seek not the good in external things; seek it in yourselves.” — Epictetus
Previously:
Liao-Fan took Mr. Kong's words to heart, and from then on, every exam result played out exactly as predicted. Mr. Kong had also foretold that Liao-Fan would only get promoted after receiving a salary worth ninety-one and a half bushels of rice. However, when the senior official Mr. Tu recommended him for a promotion, Liao-Fan had only received seventy-one bushels, causing him to doubt Kong's prediction.
But the prophecy was spot on - Mr. Tu's superior Mr. Yang ended up denying the promotion. Years later, when the renowned Mr. Yin, a reputable official, saw Liao-Fan's old exam essays, he was blown away, exclaiming they were "fit for the Emperor himself!" Yin insisted Liao-Fan be made an imperial student candidate, after which Liao-Fan's salary calculations showed he'd received precisely ninety-one and a half bushels.
With these twists of fate, Liao-Fan became convinced that a person's ups and downs were predestined, the timing of success or failure preordained. Since then, he just went with the flow, detached from any pursuit.
As a new imperial student headed to Beijing, Liao-Fan spent the year zoning out, not cracking a book. Before university in Nanjing, he visited the enlightened Zen Master Yun-Gu, and they meditated face-to-face for three full days and nights without falling asleep.
Master Yun-Gu was puzzled by Liao-Fan's absolute stillness of mind, asking, "Most people remain bounded by wandering thoughts, unable to attain wisdom. Yet your mind has been completely free of even a single thought - why is that?"
Liao-Fan explained Mr. Kong had mapped out his entire life's destiny, so there was no need to ponder or desire anything. Master Yun-Gu laughed, calling him "a common, mundane person!"
When Liao-Fan seemed confused, Master Yun-Gu explained: "Average folks are controlled by wandering thoughts, bound by fate. But the truly wise understand - through cultivating great kindness and virtue, one can alter their predetermined destiny for the better. Good deeds generate merits that uplift one's fortunes, granting happiness, prosperity and longevity. Conversely, evil erases blessings.
For twenty years, you've simply accepted Mr. Kong's prophecies, not lifting a finger to change your path. If anyone is bound by fate, it's you!"
Taken aback, Liao-Fan asked if fate could truly be escaped.
"Fate is self-created, blessings self-sought," Master Yun-Gu stated. "Our teachings are clear - by doing good, one cannot be bound. Lying defies Buddhism, so how could we deceive? As the Sixth Patriarch of Chan, Hui-Neng said, it depends entirely on your heart and mind whether you sow blessings or misery.
Mencius was right that inward qualities like morality can be cultivated through aspiration. But he didn't mean outward things like fame and wealth are unattainable. The outer simply reflects the inner. Blindly pursuing external fortune while losing your inner virtue is fruitless and self-destructive. You must first seek change within."
Final thoughts
When we seek fulfillment and validation from external sources beyond our control, such as the thoughts, opinions, or actions of others, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and dissatisfaction. This is because these external factors are inherently unstable and subject to constant change, making it impossible for us to find lasting contentment or peace of mind.
By focusing our energy and attention on what is within our control—our thoughts, actions, and reactions—our mental well-being becomes much more resistant to the change in our circumstances.
However, when we become overly invested in seeking approval, admiration, or validation from others, we are essentially placing our happiness and well-being in their hands. This not only makes us vulnerable to disappointment and frustration but can also lead us down a slippery slope of unhealthy behaviors and even unethical or immoral actions.
For instance, when our self-worth is tied to the opinions of others, we may be tempted to compromise our values or engage in deceptive practices to maintain a favorable perception. Similarly, when our happiness hinges on external success or material possessions, we may be driven to engage in unscrupulous or illegal activities to achieve our desired outcomes.
Personal Experience
For years, I had pursued a hollow definition of 'success,' only to realize it never truly resonated with me. I felt like a failure for not being able to provide the comfortable life my family deserved.
Last month, however, I decided to declutter my goals, purging old notes, saved videos, and LinkedIn posts that no longer served me. In this process of 'spring cleaning,' I uncovered a newfound sense of direction. It was as if the shackles of external validation had been broken, freeing me to focus on pursuits that would bring genuine joy. While the path ahead remains uncertain, I feel lighter and happier than I have in a long time.
My priorities have shifted from chasing societal markers of achievement to nurturing my authentic passions and values. The weight of others' expectations had been suffocating, but now I am learning to embrace a life guided by my inner compass. This newfound liberation is both exhilarating and daunting, yet I am committed to savoring the journey, wherever it may lead.
Though the road ahead is uncharted, I am hopeful that by aligning my goals with my truest self, I will find a sense of contentment and fulfillment that eluded me when I was trapped in the pursuit of hollow 'success.' For the first time in years, I feel alive and hopeful about the future – a future defined by me, for me.
To close, I'd like to share a timeless quote from a Greek Stoic philosopher:
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…”
– Epictetus
I hope you're finding enjoyment in Rewriting Fate. If you've appreciated the writing, it's worth mentioning that this publication relies entirely on reader support and funding. While all my posts are always free, the best way to show your appreciation and help sustain the work is through a paid subscription. Your support would be greatly appreciated!
How inspiring and exciting that you have taken such positive steps to follow your heart down a path filled with joy. I look forward to reading where this takes you...!